Remembering my Mother, Margie Nevarez

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October 12, 1960 - October 19, 2000

The night before, my mother asked me to get the door. She said it was a friend. I get up out of bed and open the door, about to welcome a person to the house. The only problem is that there was nobody there.

I let my mom know and then proceed to go to bed. The next day, my mom tells me to answer the door, her mom and dad are here. Again, I answere the door, and again there is nobody there. I start to get worried and I end up calling my sister, who was with her boyfriend. I let her know what was going on and she says she is on her way home. When she gets home, she takes one look at my mom and says we are going to the hospital.

As my sister heads off into her room, I tell my mom that we all love her and don't want anything to happen to her. She replies "I know, I love you all too." Little did I know it, but the last words between us were just spoken.

So I head off into my bedroom to get ready. I then hear my sister saying "Rob, mom's not breathing." I rush into the living room and see my mom laying there, lifeless. My sister has the presence to pick up my little brother and rush him to the neighbors, who we were good friends with, and my little brother was really good friends with the neighbor's son. Thankfully she had thought of it, that is the last thing he needed to see. I heard my sister call 911 and I couldn't just stand there, so I tried to give my mother CPR. I heard the air going into her, but once I released, I could hear the air going right out of her body.

The paramedics got there really fast. I remember them asking for her name and asking her questions. Two minutes later, I see my mom come out of the house on a stretcher with tubes in her body, we were on the way to the hospital, under circumstances I never thought we would have to face.

During this period of time, my mom's side of the family was camping from what I remember. We tried to get ahold of them, but to no prevail. My sister FINALLY got ahold of a family member, and were on their way once the news was broke to them.

What proceeded was 10 days of the most depressing days I hope I will ever have to face. During that time, my mom 'celebrated' her 40th birthday. I was in the room with my mom the night of her birthday, just talking to her holding her hand. I let her know that everything was okay. If she didn't make it through, we (her kids and family) would be okay. It was at that point of time her hand squeezed mine. I don't know if it was her body shutting down or her way of telling me goodbye. I wasn't stupid. I knew her chances were slim at best.

She was unconcious the whole time, in a comatose state. The doctor said that since she was a smoker, she would be put on a list, a long list of people who needed a new liver. In other words, My mom basically wasn't going to get better, and a liver for her was years away.

The decision was then reached by the family that the tubes that have been helping her breathe would be removed, as she showed no signs of getting better. I remember the day. I decided I would not be able to see that- so I sat outside the hospital on the bench while my mother was breathing her last breath. My cousin came out with me to sit with me during the last minutes I was to have a mother. Two to three minutes pasts and then my dad comes out of the hospital with tears in his eyes. That told me all I needed to know. "Margie didn't make it." Simple but effective. That was in 2000, six years ago. I think about what you have just read every single day, no exceptions.

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